what's wrong..?

Alone in my room, seeing my computer n thinking..
The reason I don't believe everyone,
maybe because my past, or I'm being arrogant with my life..
Everyone have their dream in their heart,
for themself and for somebody out there,
Am I wrong if I just care myself, and only myself,
is it a sin..

All I know, everything in this world is just an illusion,
everything can change as fast as u blink,
truth/lies is just a game in a life, and it's thin as a paper,
all thing the human said have blurr meaning,
everyone have flaws, nobodys perfect..

Love..
Love isn't hope, love isn't eternal feeling, love is too light
to be catch, to flexible to be trick,
love is illusion to be hold out..
Love is too beautiful to be loyal in the middle of this wonderful world's
that never stop showing something new..
Love make us dumb, and we're to naive to approve it..
And if love is blind, so this world must be full with a blind person..

My life is a journey in the darkness, there's no light..
I'm being blindfolded for so long time,
my heart become stoned and it broken apart so many times,
life in despair, got nothing to lose,
got nobody to belive in, and being underpreasured in my fam,
being a joker in front of my friends,
I'm living like a clown with no heart to be happy..
Can I be happy in my live?
Or should I live and pretend to be happy in this fake world?
I hope God can tell me the answer..
Coz, just in Him I gave all my heart and soul..